GOD

I rear ended a car on Monday.

The driver just showed me that people can be kind and forgiving. Maybe God is just trying to help me out and I should just get over the idea that he is just constantly challenging me. 

In other news I renewed my car insurance. 

No particular order

This blog feels like a grave yard of memories that I need to learn how to enjoy again. I suppose I didn't want to write again because then I would have to type that my Mama and Abulita died. They died and I still don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what makes me feel better, I just know that it is time to come out of hiding.

Moving to Boston to work for Converse has allowed me to be unavailable and flighty with people. I should admit it before I do it anymore. This is one characteristic that is absolutely unacceptable to me in a friendship so why should I expect others to deal with it at all. So I am sorry world if I took you for granted. 

Talking and loving need to be my favorite things again, because they are both hard and scary right now. To really talk and feel... I don't know if I do it anymore. 

A lot of everything has been crushed within me, I'm just trying to make sense of it all even if it doesn't all fit back in its old order... 

... but I am still here.

Now is now

This year has been pretty focused, focused on health and work. I have been getting more hours at the studio in Shelby Township and landed a new teaching job along with freelance work for Ambassador Magazine. It should be a six page spread out next month :)

Teaching 9th graders after school can be trying sometimes, but I'm hoping that we both end up with something in the end. I can remember how tough that time is, everyone wants to be the cool guy.

Ambassador was definitely a great experience. Having that under my belt makes me feel more confident about my career choice. I know that I can work efficiently and creatively which feels great. Being in your own world in college you don't really know how you will preform under a time limit and others breathing down your neck. I loved it, the pressure and delivery make me feel alive.

Today I had a first phone interview with Converse. They are looking for a in house product photographer at their headquarters in Massachusetts. It went well and I should be hearing back from them so I can come in for a real interview. This position would be a dream come true! I'm that kid with the roughed up converse shoes.... hire me please :)

Getting my old body back feels great, so far I have lost 20 pounds and counting since the beginning of February. If you don't have your health... what do you really have?

giant love cloud

I remember winter break, a break from school and time to share what I learned from it. I never minded  being asked what I was up to because art school was a whole new world to me. I came back from it everyday just wanting to share my great adventures. People spoke a language I never knew I understood until I came home and no one understood what I was talking about. And now I'm confused as to where I am. In my mind all I think about is art because for me it is what I've always done but just now come to realize. Yet the people I am with don't know what I am saying. I feel no sadness about this, only wonder. I wonder how different passions drive different people. What does one expend for their love? 

When I was a small child my speech was so jumbled and confusing that my mother had to take me to a speech therapist. My mother begged her to help me so that she could speak to me; her child. It worked, I could say shoulder and solider... I could ask for an extra graham cracker. It seems that I've always had a problem with others understanding my jumbled speech, but I found a camera or it found me and I finally heard my own voice. 

response

Teaching after school programs in Detroit makes me miss the city more than ever. The kids are so excited to be discovering photography with me. We just assigned them their first project this week (self-portraits). They were beyond grateful for the information and technology given to them. I always strive to dedicate myself fully to them because that is something I didn't experience until college. The arts are so important, to keep creativity and traditions flowing throughout the community. The theme this semester is community, today we talked about our idea of community starting with oneself. How do we see ourselves and what is our role to others? Right now I see myself as an artist on a journey trying to reach in ten different directions.  I asked the students how they felt after our talk and they tested out their cameras... "I feel great!" A response I am more than grateful for.

mitten

I enjoy driving in the snow with the Fit. I have no clue where I put my snow scraper from the Caliber, so today after a meeting I cleaned off my lil honda with my mitten.  I love meeting at the Arab American National Museum. When I get there I get sent up in a huge elevator, when the doors open there are wonderful people that I enjoy all around. The class that I will co-teaching starts next Tuesday, tomorrow Christina (the other teacher and great friend) and I are going to hammer out details over brunch.

Speaking of MITTENS, I  am making it my goal for 2010 to leave this mitten for a while. Matt and I would like to explore the west coast. We need to hatch out our mission.... over breakfast cake.

I'm on my second Chuck Palanhniuk book and they are making me feel like some insane artist... I like it!

Oh YEAH I was chosen to pick the next topic for the Hallway Show, I am so pumped!!!!! I feel like I have been waiting for this forever... hopefully people will like my choice and make the bust illustrations ever.

nyc with rc

Where have I been...

I started freelance work with Ambassador Magazine

I went to a planning meeting for teaching an after school program that I've done for the past couple of years.

I made the coolest stuffed animals with tremendous help from Matt for my nieces and nephews

Found a wedding photographer for my sister

Christmas was great! The eve was spent with my family+Matt and the day was spent with Matt's family+his friends. The most epic thing was that Matt happened to get me a whole case of coffee while his mom secretly ordered me a coffee mug with Matt's face all over it. When I get home I need to photograph the beauty of the presents Matt got me... I can't really capture them in words.

I'm in N.Y.C. right now with the Callahans. Ryan is here to stay for a 4 month contract and I was invited for the ride and the weekend. Last night Ryan fed me strong drinks and I went to bed while everyone else went to two more parties. The last thing I remember doing is trying to make my phone work to call Matt. Good thing that didn't work out because then I would be asking Matt what I even said. Most likely I would have tried to force him to take a plane out here for a day and cry if he said no hahaha. After waking up half dead we just stayed in all day because our livers needed to heal up. I should be getting to bed soon because tomorrow is going to be a city day. I like how the year is starting out so far, except that I miss Matt so much... but I kinda love that. I can hear everything from Ryan's second floor apartment, instead of people watching I'm people listening.

wing interview

Today I had a interview with Ambassador Magazine for event photography. It was such a great interview, so nice to sit and talk to someone about what you can do and where that can go. After looking at my portfolio Lydia my interviewer introduced me to an editor. Ray looked at my stuff and told me how I can move up to editorial after I shoot some events, and then to fashion after doing editorial work. I hope that I can start working my way up with them A.S.A.P. The best interviews are when they turn into wonderful conversations.

BURururur I'm so cold in my room! Thank goodness Ryan gave me a giant poncho from Mexico to wear. Speaking of Ryan, he will be back from N.Y.C. anytime now... well in about a week but I wish it was NOW.

Matt is coming over today and we are going to cuddle for 8 hours straight... maybe not.... HIBERNATION.

I have decided not to apply to grad school this year. I still want to spread these little bird wings and see what I like and can do outside of school.

scratch

My brother Carlos agreed to starting a band... I'M SO EXCITED!

I have started to look for a wedding photographer for my sister's wedding in September. It is so hard when you know what you want and can't find it. Well one guy that we want is too far away.. and the other one is booked already. But this is only day one of the search... she shall get what she wants.

Matt came over today, I love him so much that I turn into cheese when I think about it. GROSS but great <3

My mom told me that I should just move to Seattle or California while I still can. Gotta get that cash to get there MOM.

I still love you

Before this year ends I would like to:

Take a few more risks

Get drunk with Ryan talk about when we were little guys

Be happy/sad with Sean

Have some more job prospects

Start a band with my brother

Read THE PROPHET again

Make a breakfast cake with Matt

HANG OUT WITH THE CREW

Retouch at least 5 photos

Enter a competition


I love lists, notebooks and  calling everything I get PRESENTS...

I hate mostly everything... clearly form the former list. ; )