Wednesday, January 19, 2011

No particular order

This blog feels like a grave yard of memories that I need to learn how to enjoy again. I suppose I didn't want to write again because then I would have to type that my Mama and Abulita died. They died and I still don't know how to deal with it. I don't know what makes me feel better, I just know that it is time to come out of hiding.

Moving to Boston to work for Converse has allowed me to be unavailable and flighty with people. I should admit it before I do it anymore. This is one characteristic that is absolutely unacceptable to me in a friendship so why should I expect others to deal with it at all. So I am sorry world if I took you for granted. 

Talking and loving need to be my favorite things again, because they are both hard and scary right now. To really talk and feel... I don't know if I do it anymore. 

A lot of everything has been crushed within me, I'm just trying to make sense of it all even if it doesn't all fit back in its old order... 

... but I am still here.

3 comments:

  1. I imagine they're on vacation and we're keeping things together until they get back and this way when things get hard I just think, only a few more days and then mom will take care of it. So then there's nothing to talk about because everything's the same. hmm....

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  2. I think they will come back through memories, because right now it is hard to think of them without the "end".

    Plus you have their giant nose ;)

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