wing interview

Today I had a interview with Ambassador Magazine for event photography. It was such a great interview, so nice to sit and talk to someone about what you can do and where that can go. After looking at my portfolio Lydia my interviewer introduced me to an editor. Ray looked at my stuff and told me how I can move up to editorial after I shoot some events, and then to fashion after doing editorial work. I hope that I can start working my way up with them A.S.A.P. The best interviews are when they turn into wonderful conversations.

BURururur I'm so cold in my room! Thank goodness Ryan gave me a giant poncho from Mexico to wear. Speaking of Ryan, he will be back from N.Y.C. anytime now... well in about a week but I wish it was NOW.

Matt is coming over today and we are going to cuddle for 8 hours straight... maybe not.... HIBERNATION.

I have decided not to apply to grad school this year. I still want to spread these little bird wings and see what I like and can do outside of school.

scratch

My brother Carlos agreed to starting a band... I'M SO EXCITED!

I have started to look for a wedding photographer for my sister's wedding in September. It is so hard when you know what you want and can't find it. Well one guy that we want is too far away.. and the other one is booked already. But this is only day one of the search... she shall get what she wants.

Matt came over today, I love him so much that I turn into cheese when I think about it. GROSS but great <3

My mom told me that I should just move to Seattle or California while I still can. Gotta get that cash to get there MOM.

I still love you

Before this year ends I would like to:

Take a few more risks

Get drunk with Ryan talk about when we were little guys

Be happy/sad with Sean

Have some more job prospects

Start a band with my brother

Read THE PROPHET again

Make a breakfast cake with Matt

HANG OUT WITH THE CREW

Retouch at least 5 photos

Enter a competition


I love lists, notebooks and  calling everything I get PRESENTS...

I hate mostly everything... clearly form the former list. ; )

DM

I woke up to a text from my old pal Regan asking about buying a mac, I was out of it but I told her to get her teacher's discount for sure. Teachers get tons of money off of everything, it is great!

I accidently ended up at Matt's game night. I just wanted my battery charger for a baby shower tomorrow but they were ditched by some of their pals and couldn't play their ROLE PLAYING game. Instead we all played MAGIC and I won one epic battle while they all had a mixer of blue Hawaiian punch / vodka... deemed BLUE DRANK. Matt got a little out of control and jumped on back causing my butt to be exposed for a quick second and I HATED IT. Then I drove them to taco bell and I got a free meal which is always worth the drive. I dazed in and out of the conversation because it was all about games.. and I knew it was time to go when they called Keith the DM and I knew it was short for Dungeon Master.

My lovely friend and mentor Peggy Day emailed me, I adore her. She is such an inspiration. Hopefully I will see her sooner than later.

computer, where am I?

Today it is my Mom's birthday and tomorrow is my boyfriend's birthday! They exchanged gifts today and it was pretty great, my parents got him a Redwings winter cap and Matt got my mom the Star Trek DVD. Besides birthday extravaganzas, my buddy Erica Wilson is having her bridal shower and I must answer my  maiden duties.

I finally decided what to buy for my birthday from my parents. It took me forever but I decided to get within my given budget; Canon 580ex II Flash, 5 in 1 Reflector, Flash Diffuser, Tripod, and a sync cord for off camera flash fun. These are basic things, but again I am finally building up my very own collection. The use of natural and manipulated light excites me beyond belief.

Tonight was ended with watching Star Trek while drinking "Birthday Week Champaign" with my boo. On birthdays I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for that person's existence. It is all so obvious, but sometimes the obvious can be in oblivion.

enjoy in joy

Today I tried to think about what I really enjoy, here are a few.

I enjoy people because I have always seen possibility in every one of them. I see their greatness and their faults, people amaze me with their memories and dreams.

Documentaries are so elegant and telling, while watching them I feel a great calling; I want to be part of one... even if it means holding a reflector to achieve that perfect light in which the subject gleams.

Illustrators hold a magic which I wish I could see in Photographers. Being a photographer myself, it is kind of odd but a huge part of it is that they could do what they do without any huge amount of technology. Illustrators that I hold near can laugh all the time, and I want to be like that.

Color and light are never boring, they make up this world and I enjoy this world.

Hello Loans!

I decided to update my art blog again... so that was odd and fun.

Typing Micaela

I remember my roommates professor commenting on an illustration she made of a girl running free after graduation, he told her to add the loan wolfs chasing her and it would be complete. I completely understand what he was saying. Although no one has been nagging me (since nothing is due yet) I thought I would get a head start today and see what I could do about somehow getting more time for that well paying job to pay back my very expensive education. So far I have gotten a lot of great people on the phone, the right forms and very detailed advice on how not to be denied for silly mistakes.

Life is not what I expected it to be right now at all, but I am doing okay with a few great friends, a caring family, the most loving boyfriend... and my art <3

card

Costume

Schools

filled

Well I didn't get the job with Microsoft, I found out today. I'm getting used to it, they must know about my mac ways. Funds are running low and I realized that I can get unemployment benefits since all I've done is work since I was 15. Well it doesn't work exactly like that but I qualified. I know that I've worked for the benefits for rough times but I don't like the feeling, I would rather be working. I am still grateful because it is a rough time right now. I had not even considered applying for it since I thought that I would have a steady income by now.

I finally set up my scanner, cleaned it up and put new inks in it. This all in one monster was originally for my cake project I did my senior year. I filled it with edible inks and printed away delightful compositions of my life. I can't buy any edible inks right now so I filled it with the regular inks it came with. At least I know that when I do have enough cash I can flush out the regular ink and go back to make my edible art.

Here is a photo that I keep on my desk of myself and Matt Chung my lovely friend. We were outside on campus enjoying one of the many food feasts in the year 2008. I miss talking about how crazy and great we are going to be when we are old and wrinkly.

Ryan is leaving again for an internship. It is in New York for 6 weeks with a design firm. Last time he left for 6 months so this should pass quickly. I am so proud of Ryan but I dread him leaving. He is my friend that always has time for me. I met Ryan at the C.C.S. Camp Portfolio when I was 17, and we have been friends ever since. Six years and counting, he has been with me through it all.

(A group photo from the camp. That is me in the yellow, Ryan is the fellow to the left behind me in the striped shirt. Look at all those awkward babies!)

Ryan is clever and caring and damn it I'm going to miss him.

O

I , like most, am in awe of Oprah.

She made this list: "Top 20 Things Oprah Knows for Sure"

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

flight

Saturday Maria, Chris and Matt came over. We bought beer, snacks, made spagetti and picked up a movie. It made me happy. 

A few photo ideas popped into my head this past week which is exciting. For some reason I have been feeling like I don't deserve to take on a project, that is just too ridiculous that I felt that way. I am used to having a directed project, I forgot about my time with my 35 mm before school and competitions. 

I wish that I had something exciting to report on but life has been pretty consistent with "nothing much". 

later and later

What kind of schedule am I on? It is almost 4 a.m...sheesh.

I was talking to my old classmate Nathan Lomas and thought about how much I enjoy talking to him and how I would like to keep in touch with all of my photo friends. I miss making work to show them, and seeing their works of art up aganist the wall. So I asked Nate if he thinks we could start a blog, and so we did it! The blog will be a place for us to have that creative and honest circle again. It is going to be a virtual potluck of sorts. I'm still creating a fun banner for it so once I'm done with that I'll contact everyone and hope they join.

bff

I didn't get the job in Seattle, sad news. The talent manger said that she would put in a good word for me to the other talent managers. I was surprised that just a  couple of days later I was contacted about a possible position in Seattle from a different talent manager. This job is very similar to the last; a contract position with Microsoft. As far as I know it would be for at least a year. I'm happy that Filter has me in mind for some positions.

Matt gave me my birthday present...... A BRAND NEW WACOM TABLET! It is so wonderful and beautiful and my new best friend. I'm so used to just renting whatever I wanted from school. Those days are over and now I can't wait to work as hard as I have to build up a beautiful collection of technology and what nots. Well I guess I just had to love Matt for this one.

Birds

I tried to make a scarf, it looks like a sad pot holder.

I'm trying to get rid of stuff, so maybe I should post the good stuff here and give it away or something. I'm keeping my certificate that proclaims me as master of mythology... or something like that haha.

I like when my friends post photos of their living spaces. They look just like them with their colors, textures and wonderful finds.

I think I should make a photo list of ten things I can do with my new yarn creation.

Time to look through my stuff and decide what is worth holding on to.

Expectations

My interview is already over. It was the first awkward interview of my life. I felt like I was being sold a lemon of a car. The receptionist was the interviewer and ran through a list of questions that had nothing to do with anything. She didn't know anything about the job really and finally grabbed a photographer to tell me. They asked about me coming in, and I said sure... but then they asked what my salary expectations were again. I think I gave a modest and researched answer, but they told me that it was going to be hourly and didn't know the hourly. I said I was no longer interested.

I'm feeling down about this, but what did I really expect?

brring...ring...

Tomorrow I have a phone interview at 11a.m. for a photo job in N.Y. All I know is that it is full time and that I would be photographing jewelry. I'm excited to hear more about the job. Either way it would be an awesome first job in the city.

But...

Dear Seattle,

Please tell me something!

xomr

Shenanigans

This past weekend I enjoyed my one year anniversary with Matt. It is more than nice to have someone you love so much love you just the same.

My sister wants me to take a cake decorating class with her starting tomorrow. Should improve my art... http://micaelaruiz.blogspot.com/2008/10/cake-show.html

I've been feeling pretty gloomy lately, I blame the weather. I did hit up the gym today, but it was a sad work out and a very short one. I plan on actually getting to bed at a decent hour and having a full day tomorrow.

Pump up the volume.

Magic

My head hurt today.

I laid in bed.

I spent quality time with Ryan and Stephen.

Chelsea talked to me, and I enjoyed it.

Matt loved me.

Round Two

I have made it to round two with the photo editor job through Filter! I'm so happy to hear back from them this week. The talent manager and photo editor project manager have passed my test to the in house photo editors to see what they think. I am told this is good news : )

Today is my first official day without insurance, I think my mom is going to get me some sort of insurance if I don't get a job soon. Hopefully I can make her proud and do this on my own.

Second day of free yoga was amazing again. Today we worked on balance, and I love working towards finding it within my body and mind. Oh yeah, so this yoga place offers free yoga to new people and since I have only been there once a very long time ago they gave it to me anyways. I'm hoping to go everyday this week and then back to yoga ON DEMAND... and squeeze in a class once a month. Erica came with me today. I had to talk her into it but she got something from it and will most likely come with me again this week.

I was feeling pretty stressed out before yoga because I had to buy two bridesmaid dresses for Erica's wedding and Magen's wedding. I'm very excited to be in their weddings but I am not used to spending that much money on once piece of clothing for only one day. I'm so happy for the both of them though, and really just want to enjoy the day with them, so I will.

Tomorrow is another movie with Ryan at the Detroit Film Theatre. If anyone else wants to cash in on my Fridays at the D.F.T. just tell me. Remember I have that free pass for two to any movie... so do it! You might be wondering why I don't go with my boyfriend that day. Matt has "game night" on Fridays so I just always make plans for that day haha. And it is just nice to have free movies with friends at the most beautiful theatre with great people around every corner.

today:tomorrow:today:tomorrow

No News, New News

No news from Filter yet, or anybody else. I'm still optimistic, but I've never been one to be okay with waiting. A fellow former classmate contacted me about an assistant opportunity... hopefully I get it. It would only be for a day or so, but so worth it! I can't wait for the moment when an opportunity becomes a reality : ).

Artists give pieces of themselves, huge chunks, halves for what they love and they know it will eat them away and they do it anyways. It will be the end of them, and the beginning.

I do love this life.

Check

I finished and sent off my photo editing test back to FILTER.... now I will constantly be checking my email for feedback and hopefully and interview. I want this jobbbb! :)

After birthday rest, I am back at the gym. My mom bought me my very own yoga mat and so I hit that up too! I am used to being dedicated to many things at once, I can't help myself. So since I don't really have anything that I HAVE to do... I just make it so that I HAVE to keep certain things up. So far on my list is.

1. Keep relationships strong
2. Apply to jobs
3. Gym
4. Yoga

What is missing is ART! If you know me... then you know I consider life experiences as contributing to my art, so this kind of counts. I believe that one needs experience to truly express the other.

Tomorrow I get to see my boo and go to a yoga class with my sister Amanda.

I need to learn how to make sushi... NOW!

Monday

DEADLINES

I need to be stronger and not such a baby. Wah wah wah.

Filter

Right now I am trying to work with Filter to land a photo editor job, I hope it happens! I have to go through a two part test so they can see how I work. I am absolutely excited for the task! It feels like a challenge, and I love a challenge.

So it was my official birthday a few hours ago or so and it was nice. I applied for a few jobs, had sushi with my mums and then Matt came over to see me <3

Since I am in love with Matt I have to think about what would happen if I found a job outside of Michigan. Basically it will all work out because we just want to be with each other. Anyways there is no need to worry about that just yet... it is just nice to know that he does want to be with me no matter what.

I need to wake up early to prepare for a little birthday fun!

Teach

John Mijatovich was my first teacher after High School and in the arts. I had him in Digital Design at the C.C.S. summer camp. The first day he told us all that we were ARTISTS, I had never thought of myself as one. His speech about his career and love for the arts sent excitement through my soul and I knew that I was where I was supposed to be. He was always honest, always hard on us, and always loving.

From the beginning of our friendship we could have long conversations about life and he always made me want to work harder in life while enjoying and appreciating all that I had. He taught me that digital was art in itself and if I wanted to truly be great at it I had to learn more with design. He never gave me compliments that I didn't deserve. In my final critique in his class, the other students thought I was one of the best and he pointed out that I had a lot of work to do. I took typography and worked on my digital skills to earn his respect and my own.

In class other students would ask me for help all the time and I loved helping, but thought that John didn't like it. He was just noticing me, because he told me that I am good with helping others and asked me to be his assistant at the same camp where I first met him. By the end of camp he made it clear that I should teach and pushed me to pursue it. I had always had an interest but never really went after it. John told Community Arts Partnership about me and the whole world it felt like since everyone kept asking me if I was going to teach. And that is why I teach.

On May 5th 2008 I had my big final critique with my department. John and I would always joke how every year he wouldn't get to come to my critiques based on the schedule, so I was used to him not being there. At the end of the critique I was told that John has passed away. I did not know the pain that overwhelmed me, I had never lost a friend.

John was my first teacher that I had a connection with, and I hope to give back what he gave me; hope.

Two Groups

I have two groups of friends. 

All engaged or all Artists.

I miss living in the city, the smell outside reminds me of old roommates and new love. 

Less than a week

Friday

In less than a week I will be 23 years old. I can't really imagine saying " Oh, I'm twenty-three nice to meet you?" ha ha I don't know, I couldn't come up when a sentence where I would have to mention my age. Either way I am looking forward to a nice dinner with a few friends and my huge family. In fact my friend Maria and her boyfriend thought it was today and showed up at my house right before I was to leave for the gym. We laughed hysterically... I was happy to see her still.

Last night Ryan and I went to the Detroit Film Theatre. We arrived almost exactly at the same time. I picked up my free passes for the season, TWO FREE PASSES TO EVERY MOVIE!!! After that we had fancy soup, bread and wine... delicious. There was time for dessert so I had vegan chocolate madness and UN CAFE. Beeswax was the name of the movie, it was decent but no huge hurrah. Ryan is a friend for life.

Now a swim and then a day with my love.
 

Detroit

Yesterday I went to this wonderful French restaurant Le Petit Zinc in Corktown with my friend Sean. The light in the space was absolutely stunning. I seem to judge places based on how the light works through it. Light is everything to me, revealing colors and textures, giving me a new view of the color wheel with every passing minute as the light changes in intensity. And the food was okay too ha ha.

Later on I found out that my boyfriend Matt got a job doing silk-screening and embroidery work for a t-shirt company here in Michigan. He isn't excited at all, but I am. Even if it is just a job and not a big career step, we all need those little steps to reach our goals... and cash is cash!

Gym time, sweat time.

First Contact

Yesterday I was looking around craigslist because I just never do since it kind of creeps me out. Aesthetically it does... creepy but unusually comfy. I came across this post in Texas about a Photography Editor/ Graphic Designer. In my main bodies of work I always seem to combine graphics so I thought this could be a good one.

Today I got a response from the owner saying that I had great work and asking if I could interview soon. I had asked for details about the job but she didn't say anything. I looked up her email and found it to be a private studio that mainly does Weddings. The photos were very nice, but I would most likely be interested in doing their corporate work and graphic design.

It feels nice to get my first contact, but I don't know if this is the job for me. The main reason being that there are a lot of studios in Michigan that are next of kin that I could work for here. If I am going to move, I want it to be for something that I can't find here. And who knew, the owner and CEO is actually from Michigan!

I get it, this is a relationship. I am not ready to settle just yet... but who knows.

Is this me?

Resumes and cover letters sent around the world trying to find a connection. This feels like searching for love again, feeling incomplete while trying to offer my full self to another being. But this time I am prepared, experienced and willing to work as hard as I have to keep my dream alive. I'm sure I thought the same thing while giving advice to my friends about their relationships when I had none. Yet this is different, I am supposedly one of the best to come out of the artistic community and no one is calling my name. Is this really me?